I don't even think I can call myself a blogger anymore since it has been 6 months since I last updated. I can't blame being tired or not having time just haven't updated. I did get a new laptop because my old one died and the picture program to get the pictures off the camera and on the computer never got transferred and well to be honest how many people read. Most are just interested in the pictures. So warning there will be no pictures posted until my husband gets the program transferred. Don't know if that'll happen.
The reason I'm posting is just because I'm frustrated with everything and need a place to vent and I don't think anyone is reading the blog anymore so here I go.........well that 's the problem really don't know where to go. Everything in our life is unsettled right now. I don't like that feeling AT ALL. Scott and I just celebrated our 8th anniversary and that also marks my 8th year of living in Mississippi and I don't like it anymore now then I did then. But my husband is in a secure job and can retire in 7 years so he isn't planning on going anywhere for the next 7 years so here I sit stuck for at least 7 more years UGH. After 8 years you would think I have this great base of friends to be a support group but NOPE. I have friends but we all lead such busy lives and I would rather most days come home after my job and just be at home and quiet. We live in a house that was supposed to be our first starter home....here for 3-5 years but about to celebrate our 7th year here and Lord knows how many more years we have. I think we'll be in this house five years from now. At least we have a home but about a month ago we decided to sell and well we did fix some things up but since then NOTHING. We haven't done anything. My job- don't get me started - could possibly be one of the biggest mistakes I have made in a long time. But don't know what else to do. Even frustrated in our church situation. Not the churches fault- Godly church with great people just not plugged in anymore. One of the biggest ones for me is I want more children. God has blessed us richly with Anna. Thank you Lord for her but I want more. The only way I see that happening is going into foster to adopt but Scott says NO. So what do I do with this aching for more and no possible way for more children??? Easy to read this and say stop complaining. I know I HATE WHEN PEOPLE COMPLAIN. I hear people complain all the time about how horrible their lives are and then they go to the beach or a Disney vacation or go buy a new car or a bigger house. Are people so self centered and selfish that they think only good things should ever happen to them? What is frustrating is when all the small junk just keeps going and going and going and never gets better and there isn't the option of going on the dream vacation or buying the shiny new car or the $100 shoes. When the daily grind is bad and doesn't get better.
Okay so if you are reading you are probably thinking, "you've got nothing to complain about." Let me stop you and say you are probably right. God has been good to us. He has given us a sweet little girl who we love with all our heart. He completely healed her of an unhealable disease. He has given us a home when millions around the world are homeless. He has given us income when many don't have anything. I don't want to be one of those typical selfish, self-centered Christians but I just don't like being so unsettled. I feel like we are at crossroads for everything and begging God to show us and tell us what we are supposed to do with everything in our lives. If you are reading, I would covet your prayers and any words of advise or encouragement you have.....or if you think I need to stop complaining you can say that too. I can take it. I know God is good and has been good I just need direction.
